Mercy Me

I have to make a decision and I need all of you guys help.  I have mentioned this before, but I really am at a crossroad.  I don’t know if I want to stick with the atkins because it’s so hard.  Now, I know every other plan is going to be hard too, but I wonder if it’ll be less of a battle with the carbs.  I don’t know if I’m just bowing out because it’s really rough right now or what but I talked to my husband aobut it and he’s been trying to get me to try la weight loss.  It’s expensive.  I don’t know how it works but if I switched it would be between lawl or ww.  Could someone please let me know how each program works.  The pros and cons.  Thanks buddies!

WELL THE SCALE SHOWED A 3 LB LOST.  IF YOU NOTICED LAST WEEK I GAINED TWO.  I DIDN’T CHANGE MY WEIGHT TICKER BECAUSE MY OFFICIAL WEIGH IN IS NOT UNTIL THURSDAY.  I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY WITH MY FAMILY REUINON STUFF I HAVEN’T BEEN WATCHING WHAT I’VE BEEN EATING I JUST SHOVE IT IN MY MOUTH!  SO MUCH STRESS.  WELL THAT’S ABOUT IT.  I DON’T SEE TOO MANY BLOGS BUDDIES.  WHAT’S UP?

I walked one mile today.  It’s not the two I wanted but there were so many bugs it was rediculous.  So I got back and boy oh boy was I attacked about my family reunion.  People are trying to undo what is already done.  I don’t understand it.  Well anyway, I broke under pressure.  dd and dh baked some biscuits and i ate two.  Then to make matters worse dd said go tell them on the computer that you just ate two biscuits.  It hit me. oh my God what have I done.  You guys know that I don’t hold back.  I blog good or bad.  So I knew I had to tell you what I done.  I never can say I had a bad day I have to go into every detail.  So that’s it in a nutshell.  Oh, I smothered the biscuits in butter.  But remember I’m on the atkins I can have butter LOL!

TODAY IT RAINED.  I CAME HOME ON MY LUNCH AND COOKED TONS OF CHICKEN.  FOR LUNCH I ATE A SOUTBEACH DINNER 13 CARBS AND DINNER I ATE CHICKEN BREAST.  I WOULD’VE BEEN OK BUT I PUT BARBECUE SAUCE ON IT.  I STILL THINK IT’LL BE OK.  SO THAT’S PRETTY MUCH IT.  I THINK JO’S QUESTION IN HER BLOG HAS REALLY MADE ME STOP TO THINK ABOUT SOME THINGS.  REMEMBER “WHAT YOU DO TODAY WILL INSPIRE SOMEONE TOMORROW”rn

I have planned my week out so far up to wed.  I took out enough chicken to eat for 3 days.  I’m going to cook it so that it will be ready to do what I want.  I know i’ll be eating lots of salad.  I am going to stay under 20 carbs a day for the next week.  I have a lot of things  to do being that our family reunion is 6~30 - 7~ 4.  I have been taking a lot of grief from my mom and sis that wanted to cancel because of a low turnout.  I told them I don’t need negative energy  and I meant that!  But back to my plans.  Every night I’ll have my workout clothes ready so that when I get the impulse to go I’ll have it all set.  So many people are missing so I miss all you buddies out there and I hope your week goes well.  As for the rest of my week I plan to cook more chicken wed.

This blog doesn’t have a title.  I have been struggling for quite a while and I have done some soul searching and I want to thank all of those that have been there for me  during these hard times.  I know it gets kinda tiring to keep telling someone you can do it over and over when you are trying to make it just as well.  So thanks to all of you for helping me when I most needed it. 

Well, today was a long day at work.  I’m taking my daughter out for the evening for a mother daughter day.  I don’t know where we are going but hopefully we have a wonderful time and get to relax a little.  So I hope your friday was good.

Thanks for the prayers.  They really work I tell ya!  I woke up and I feel pretty good.  Today is friday so no calling off for me.  I didn’t eat dinner so I think that helped with having no food on my stomach and of course praying.  I’m taking my workout clothes to work today.  I have to go to work @ 8, we don’t open until ten so I think I’ll have time to get a walk in.  I hope everyone’s day starts out pleasant I’ll chat later.

I think I am coming down with the flu.  I have the bg’s.  I hope that’s not too much information.  But anyway,  I ate good today except for i had a bag of sun harvest chips.  I only ate lunch.  I don’t want anything for dinner.  My stomach is on a rollercoaster ride.  I worked 12 hours today so I am pooped.  So to all my buddies out there I hope your day went well.  Goodnite.  Remember “what you do today will inspire someone tomorrow”

OK, WELL TODAY IS GOING TO BE MY FRESH START.  I’LL EAT ONLY WHAT’S ALLOWED.  I’LL DO MY 2 MILES AND HOPEFULLY MY TAPE. I WORK 9-9 IT’S THURS SO I HAVE A LONG DAY AHEAD OF ME.  THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO RESPONDED.  I REALLY NEEDED THAT.  SOMETHINGS WERE HARD TO SWALLOW BUT IT’S THE TRUTH.  HOW LONG CAN ONE PERSON KEEP HEADING DOWN THE SAME ONEWAY DEAD END.

Well, today was an I don’t know day.  I don’t know how well I ate.  For lunch I ate left over dinner except I sauteed shrimp in garlic and butter.  Dinner  I know I messed up.  I fried chicken in whole wheat flour? I don’t know if that was bad or not remember low carb.  but I ate white rice.  Backwards.  I didn’t have anything else to cook for them(my family) or me.  I know enough is enough.  I keep making the same mistakes.  It’s as if it’s getting easier and easier to eat those things.  I took my son to the Dr. today.  He has a rash and small blisters and come to find out it’s an allergic reaction to the sun.  How depressing is that.  My son lives to go outside.  So now not only does he have that but we’re just learning to  manage his asthma.    I don’t know if that’s why i ate the rice or not but it’s becoming common place and I can’t just not tell you guys because then I know I will fail completely.  I don’t know how to get back on track.  I don’t know if I can get the answer from you guys I have to be the one to make that choice.  To eat or not to eat!  So in closing which I use to say every blog.  Remember” what you do today will inspire someone tomorrow”

P.S.

I’m a little scared.  Is this the way I have failed all the other times.?  I know I have to get back on track or I’m doomed.  I know this but why can’t i do anything, no why won’t I do anything to stop myself from self-destructing?